The composer wrote his masterpiece in 1791, already fully aware of the fact that the mass was also being created for himself – terminally ill, he did not manage to complete it. The steamers over the woman’s body take the shape of an aureole and like thorns they “stab” or “stem” from her back. Therefore both the music “heard” while watching the painting and the shape of the ribbons covered with inscriptions – all that gives the woman and her uncomfortable position a sacred notion enhancing the mystery-saturated ritual.

The title of the painting follows yet another trace – namely Jean-Paul Sartre’s novel of the same name. In the introduction to the Polish edition Jacek Trznadel writes: ”Everyday life is not sufficient, the attack of Nausea draws closer and closer, the sense of strangeness does not emerge from artistic distance as stated by Brecht but is an emotional equivalent of the absurdity of the world perceived by a man. By the concept of absurdity, the existence reveals to a man the fundamental feature of freedom in an existential and philosophical sense as somewhat bonded with existence, however manifesting itself in the moment of danger: any nausea is unbearable, life needs to be taken care of in order to be liberated from it.” Therefore nausea is a state of emergency, in which the absurdity of the world and our own existence is revealed. It appears at specific moments and seams unbearable. Roquentin, the protagonist of this existential novel, summarises: nausea is nothing but a dazzling obviousness infecting the thoughts more than the body: “It would be much better if I could stop myself from thinking. Thoughts are most nauseating, even more nauseating than the body. They develop endlessly and leave a strange taste”. What is the woman in Białecka’s painting thinking about? As Walter Benjamin once stated, nausea and repulsion constitute indispensable patterns of human subjectivity and they allow each person to (re)cognize the world from their individual perspective. Is she going to vomit heavy black stones, like Andżela, the protagonist of “Wojna polsko-ruska” by Dorota Masłowska? In Sartre’s novel both nausea and moments of repulsion indicate the events of the revealing potential, which can be experienced by the chosen ones. The woman forcing vomiting in Białecka’s painting must be such a chosen one of perception: she experiences personal revelation by struggling with her own physiology.

This exceptionally multifaceted painting also references another gesture co-opted from the icons of the TV series and present in pop-culture as a repetitive cliché. The gesture of putting the fingers into one’s mouth and feigning vomiting is a clear sign of disapproval. Thus what is the hero of “Nausea” aiming her gesture against? Maybe the intense gaze directed at the lamb suggests a negative attitude towards any sacrifice and the social pressure on women to always be ready to bear it?

In Białecka’s interpretation, nausea is a kind of a feminine torment, in which she recognizes not only her carnal but foremost her existential and cultural conditioning. Due to the association with early pregnancy, these correlate with the female rather than the masculine world and, owing to Białecka’s representation, they are “stolen” from the phallocentric context of the West European philosophy.

EKSTASY

The painting of Beata Ewa Białecka becomes a multi-layered and profound treatise about a woman and her condition in the contemporary reality. In the whole output of the artist – “Nausea” included – the image of a woman leads a continuous conversation with traditional Christian iconography, which decrees biblical Eve as the symbol of sin but also with the iconography of popular culture and the world of advertising. Białecka enters into an insightful research of gender roles in order to submit them to de(con)struction in her own specific way and present from a new, non-obvious vantage point. As a post-feminist painter, she does not have to focus on the struggle for basic rights as proclaimed by the first wave of feminism. Her attention is rather directed to individual choices, life conditions in the consumerist world and the re-definition of woman’s status that is still functioning in traditional social roles. The very concrete pregnant woman portrayed on the canvas “Ave Eve” can be perceived as the biblical Eve, the first woman and the embodiment of maternity and womanhood. In this context however, the traditional connotations of sin, temptation and blame imposed on Eve for expulsion from Eden are not voiced. The hieratic Eve standing in a bathtub is self-confident, “pure”, self-conscious of her role and ready to accept the adoration she deserves.

Another feature present in Białecka’s paintings could be referred to as the feminization of Christian iconography, which is manifested in a subversive play with traditionally defined womanhood and manhood, as well as in the clear upgrading of a woman. Saint Francis becomes Francesca Infanta, the Good Shepherd is also a female figure and in the portrait of Saint Sebastian rather than the death of the martyr, his mother’s grief is emphasized. What Białecka seems to be saying is that a woman does not need priests because she can take on this function herself. In the painting “Priestess”, the figure in the picture raises her hands upwards, her intense look hypnotising the viewer. Authority, power and self-confidence emanate from this figure. The idea of doubling her hands seems to evoke the doubling of her disturbing power – she is like those multi-handed Hindu gods or – like Janus – has she got two faces?
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